South Italy, Not Romano
by AnimeGirl9894
Summary: In Germany's mind Romano is nothing more than an annoyance that he has to deal with. Romano doesn't compare in any way to his brother Italy. But when Germany says something he regrets, he realizes that Romano isn't just Italy's fowl-mouthed brother, he's South Italy. Rated for Lovino's potty mouth.
1. Chapter 1

**I love Romano and I also love his hilarious relationship with Germany. This idea has been bouncing around in my head for a while so I decided to publish it. **

**Warnings: Slight Spamano and Romano's potty mouth.**

**I don't own Hetalia…sadly; everything belongs to the creators of the anime!**

Germany paced his living room angrily, while Japan watched him quietly from the couch. They were supposed to be going to a meeting about their alliance but they were one nation short. "Italy should have been here an hour ago! The one day he doesn't sneak into my house and then he's late for our meeting?" Ludwig shook his head angrily but in the back of his mind worry was beginning to spread through his thoughts. Why wasn't Italy here? He was usually on time for meetings (mostly because he was always staying at Germany's house) but now he was seemed to have simply disappeared. No phone calls or emails. As much as he was always annoyed with Italy's constant chattering and hugs, he missed him when he was gone. The house always felt too quiet.

"I am sure he is just running a little late." Japan commented quietly from the couch. Germany nodded absentmindedly and looked at the clock on the wall. He listened for the loud screech of Italy's Ferrari, which always signaled his arrival but was met only with the tick-tock of the grandfather clock that stood against the opposite wall. Suddenly the phone rang and Germany raced across the room and answered it without checking the caller ID.

"Hallo (hello)?" He answered loudly. There was a sniffle on the other end.

"Ve Germany? It's Italy! I'm sorry but I can't come to the meeting today." Veneziano said, his voice sounded scratchy and he coughed slightly. Worry settled in Ludwig's stomach like a rock.

"Are you sick?" He asked concern lacing his usually stern tone. There was another sniffle and several coughs on the other end.

"Si, mi dispiace (I'm sorry) Germany! I don't know how it happened…well maybe it was when I was running around in the rain last night…" Germany raised an eyebrow and frowned.

"Why were you doing that you idiot?!" He yelled.

"There was a poor dog outside in the rain and it looked so sad and wet but when I tried to go get him he ran away! So I ran after him and then I got lost and couldn't find my way back so I went to a coffee shop. They had amazing pasta~ So after I left I walked home but it was raining and I realized I forgot my coat at the store and so I had to just walk in the rain and then I realized I knew how to get home. Then when I got home I-"

"ITALY! I do not need to hear your life story! So you can't come to the meeting today, then we'll have to reschedule…" Germany sighed in annoyance and ran his hand through his gelled blond hair. Not only was the meeting going to have to be moved but now Italy was sick. This meeting was very important; they were discussing military tactics and going over training routines.

"Ve Germany~ don't worry! I thought of everything and I know what to do~" Italy sang through the phone. The German didn't have to wait for an answer as he heard the sound of a car racing down the road and screaming. Ludwig groaned and shook his head.

"Italy, please don't tell me you did not send your brother here for the meeting…" He muttered hearing more yelling outside. There was a short pause on the other side of the phone before Italy laughed lightly.

"Don't worry Germany! Fratello will fill in for me! You have an alliance with _Italy, _north and south. You and fratello can be friends~ He didn't mind…that much when I asked him! Have fun Germany!" With that the phone line went silent as Italy hung up. Germany stared at the phone in bewilderment. Romano…Italy sent Romano here! For a meeting?!

"Germany-san someone is outside. I believe it is Italy-san's brother." Japan spoke up and Germany became aware of the screaming outside. Germany stood there, not wanting to go outside. He didn't like Romano, no, he hated Romano. He knew he shouldn't being that he was Italy's brother but how could anyone put up with that fowl mouthed, annoying half-country was beyond him. How Italy was could even put up with him was beyond Germany. "Maybe you should go invite him inside now." Japan prompted. Germany scowled and stomped over to the door and threw it open. He saw Spain trying in vain to pull Romano out of his silver Mercedes.

"Por favor (please) Lovi! I know you don't want to go but you need to do this for your brother. Poor little Italy is sick." Romano stayed firmly planted in his seat, ignoring the Spanish nation. "If you do this I'll promise I'll have some tomatoes and churros for you when I pick you up."

"Fuck you, you tomato bastard. There is no way I'm spending time with that stupid potato eater. I'm not getting out of this damn car." Romano growled back. Germany rolled his eyes and leaned against the door frame. How did Spain put up with that stubborn Italian, Ludwig would never understand. Spain smiled and leaned down to meet Lovino's eye-level.

"Oh, ok Roma you can stay with me! I was just heading over to France's house anyway~" Romano's eyes widened and he jumped out of the car and slammed the door.

"Fine, but you better not be late you stupid bastardo!" Romano growled and Spain grinned.

"Of course not, my little tomato!" He waved at Germany and sped away from the house. Romano watched the car leave, and then turned to face Germany with a look of pure hate.

"Hello Romano." Germany droned tiredly. Romano frowned further and crossed his arms. "Would you like to come in? The meeting is already late." Seien Sie höflich. Nicht provozieren ihn. (Be polite. Don't provoke him). He told himself. Romano glowered at him and stomped past him and muttered something as he passed. Germany thought about asking but decided against it. He stepped inside to see Romano sitting on the couch with Japan, who was trying unsuccessfully to make polite conversation.

"It's nice to see you South Italy-san. How have you been?" Japan asked kindly. Romano glanced at him and shrugged.

"I was a lot better before I got to this stupid potato country." He muttered and Japan nodded slightly and looked around for a distraction. Germany took a deep breath and closed the door and gestured for them to follow him to the meeting room. Japan followed quickly behind Germany and after a few minutes Romano stood and followed, glared at everything as he passed. They sat at a large table and Ludwig immediately began to explain the meeting and their combined military forces against the allies. Japan listened and nodded every now and then and added his own input once it was his turn. Once he was done they both paused and looked at Romano. The Italian nation was leaning on his hand and staring at several papers that were in front of him. Germany cleared his throat and Romano looked up annoyed.

"What?"

"Do you have anything to add?" Germany asked, with forced politeness. Romano snorted and glared at him.

"Like you would care about anything I had to say. Stupido Tedesco. (Stupid German)" Germany sighed and ignored him for the remainder of the meeting. When it was over Japan bowed to both of them and quickly left. Now it was just Romano and Germany. They sat in silence for 15 minutes, which turned to 20 minutes and then became 35 minutes. Finally Romano stood up and reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He punched the buttons on the poor phone so hard Germany was sure he was going to break it.

"You stupid tomato bastard I told you not to be fucking late!" He yelled angrily into the phone. There was a pause and Romano's face became red with anger. "You're drunk! Stupido bastardo ubriaco! (You stupid drunkbastard) Get your ass over here and pick me up!" There was another pause and Germany shifted uncomfortably in his seat. It was only polite to sit and wait with Romano even though he'd rather be doing anything else. He watched the hands on the clack and tried to pretend he wasn't listening to Romano's yelling and the quiet voice of, who he assumed was Spain, on the other end. "You think he fucking wants me here you idiot!? He doesn't even consider me Italy!" Germany sat up when he heard that sentence. Of course he thought of Romano as Italy, well not really Italy but the southern part. It's not like Romano was the really important part of Italy anyway. Italy had more art and trade and was overall much easier to be around than his southern counterpart. They were nothing alike despite them being brothers. Germany was snapped out of his thoughts by Romano stomping over to the kitchen.

"Eh, potato bastard don't you have anything edible in this place?!" Romano yelled from the kitchen. Germany sighed and walked over to the kitchen, where South Italy was looking through the fridge with disgust.

"I have plenty to eat. There is some food that Italy had already prepared and I'd much prefer if you just ate that than making a mess in my kitchen. Italy is a very great cook after all." Germany said waving his hand at the fridge dismissively. Romano stared at some spaghetti that Italy had left in the fridge and slammed the fridge shut.

"I don't want any of my stupid brothers cooking. I could make something just as good if you had more than damn potatoes and sausage in this fucking country." Germany laughed lightly and muttered something under his breath. "What'd you say bastard?" Germany looked at the angry Italian, with I slight smirk on his usually serious face.

"I said that you could never cook something as good as Italy." He repeated loudly, forget being polite. If Romano was making no effort to at least be tolerable then why shoulder Germany? Romano looked stunned for a moment. He stared at Germany his mouth open in surprise. The German usually took his insults without any complaint and simply ignored him, much to Lovino's annoyance.

Germany watched as Romano's face turned a crimson red color and his lips pulled back in a snarl. "I can cook just as well as Veneziano! What makes him so much better than me, huh?! At least I'm not always crying and running around like I stupid idiot!" He paused, his breath ragged and Ludwig was slightly surprised to see tears shining in his hazel-green eyes. "And in case you haven't noticed, I'm Italy too you potato eating bastard! It's not Italy and Romano! I'm _South_ Italy, you asshole!" Germany and Lovino stood in silence for a moment, the sound of the grandfather clock echoing though the house. Then all at once the Romano wiped his face and rushed out of the kitchen and a moment later the door slammed shut, leaving Ludwig alone.

**So I'll post another chapter as soon as possible. Sorry if any of the translations are off blame Google not me. Please leave a review about what you thought. **


	2. Chapter 2

**I seriously can't believe how many people reviewed and followed this story! Thank you so much! All of you are awesome! Sorry for the wait, I had to think a lot about how to write this chapter. I kept rewriting it and erasing and writing over and over. Hope you like it as much as the first chapter! **_**Sorry for any confusion I posted it then deleted it, seeing that revisions needed to be made! I'm sorry for the inconvenience! **_

**Warning: Slight Spamano and South Italy's potty mouth.**

**I don't own Hetalia or any of the characters.**

"Mist, gute Arbeit Ludwig. Jetzt hast du es getan. (Crap, good job Ludwig. Now you've done it.)"Germany muttered angrily as he stared at the door. Romano had left 15 minutes ago and Germany was half hoping that he'd come storming through the door to continue their argument. He knew he shouldn't have said what he did to Romano but in his defense the Italian _obviously_ overreacted. He was always insulting the German so there was nothing wrong with Germany throwing one back. "Verdammt. (Dammit)." He knew he was just fooling himself, he shouldn't have said anything back no matter how many insults Romano yelled at him. He shook his head and ran his hand through his hair for the 10th time in 2 minutes. There was a loud knock at the door and Ludwig rushed over, he felt a mixture of disappointment and relief when he saw it was not South Italy at the door but Spain. The Spaniard was leaning against the door frame slightly and had a light pink tint to his cheeks. Germany's mind went blank, he hadn't even thought of what he would tell Spain when he came to pick up Romano.

"Hola (hello) Germany! Where's Lovi? Is he mad at me because I'm late?" Antonio asked worriedly looking into the house behind Germany. Ludwig rubbed his neck anxiously. It's not that he was afraid of Spain but telling him that He'd yelled and Romano and then made him run from the house in tears…that would **not** go over well. By now Spain was staring at Germany waiting for him to move aside and let Romano out of the house. "Germany, where's Romano?" His gaze was unusually sharp for a guy that reeked of alcohol and looked that the world was tipped sideways under his feet.

"Well I don't know where Romano is at the moment…" He said slowly. Spain's forehead furrowed in confusion and Germany took a deep breath before continuing. "We had an argument and he ran out of the house 15 minutes ago." Spain's face changed from confusion, to surprise, to anger, to worry all in the span of a minute. He settled on panic and started looking through Germany's large front yard. There was nothing but perfectly evenly cut grass then it changed into tall trees that formed a thin forest around the property.

"You lost my little Roma?! You have no idea where he is and its winter! He could freeze to death out here in this weather!" Germany raised an eyebrow at that comment, it was at least 70 degrees out and even though there was a cold breeze whipping through the air, Romano would be fine if he had taken his jacket with him. Had he had his coat with him when he left? "Why are you just standing there?! We need to look for Lovino! He always runs off when he's really upset. What did you say to him anyway?" Antonio paused his search and glanced over at Ludwig. Germany cleared his throat and briefly thought about how to answer the question. Well better to just say it that beat around the bush.

"I told him that he could never cook anything as good as Italy." Germany answered bluntly. Spain stared at him and blinked several times.

"Estás loco! (You're crazy!) Romano can make the best pizza I had ever tasted." The Spaniard commented as he started looking around the side of the house and disappeared around back. All this time Germany had remained on the front step of his house. He had no idea where Romano was but he hoped that Spain would simply find him somewhere near the house and then he could go back in his house and ignore the entire day and tell Italy to make sure to come to the next meeting. And that he and Romano had gotten along great. "Romano can paint amazingly even though he denies it and he is a great singer." Spain continued as he walked back around the other side of the house and back to Germany's front door. From the look on his face made it obvious that he hadn't found the missing Italian. Spain stood in front of Germany and stared at him with a look of despair and then it changed into a fierce glare.

"What?"

"This is all you fault. I have no idea how to get around here! You made him cry and run away." Germany was surprised by the seriousness in the usually sunshiny man. "Now my Lovi is out somewhere in the dark and you have to go find him." Germany frowned and glared back at Spain. Who was he to tell the German what to do? If Romano ran off then he knows his way back.

"Why should I do it? If he left then he can find his own way back. We should just wait for him here." Germany knew that he was just trying to avoid seeing south Italy again. He didn't know where Romano had gone but even though he didn't want to go out looking for him, the guilt of what he had said to Romano was weighing heavily on his conscious.

"Romano won't find his way back! I know you don't think of him as Italy but he is and when he's upset he runs off and gets lost. He's done it since he was young. So go find him!" Spain yelled angrily, all his previous tipsiness gone. Germany was surprised at how commanding Antonio was. He was a very old country and even though he was usually oblivious and smiley, he had led many armies into war and could be intimidating if he wanted to be. Ludwig nodded and moved aside so that Spain could wait inside while he searched. The Spaniard smiled and walked inside. "Gracias (thank you), Germany!" Germany grunted, still not completely overjoyed to go through the woods looking for South Italy. He grabbed his coat and grabbed a flashlight. Outside the sky was slowly turning a dark inky blue as it leaked into the pink and orange light of the sunset. The temperature was starting to drop and soon it would be too cold to be out in the forest.

Germany sighed and jogged into the trees. "Romano! Spain is here, you can go home now!" He paused and listened. There was nothing except the sound of crickets and the wind whistling through the trees. Ludwig scowled in annoyance. Of course Romano would run out into the woods only to get lost. Ich werde nie verstehen Katholiken. (I'll never understand Catholics). He thought irritated. He continued looking and yelling out Romano's name several times but he got nothing. His patience was beginning to wear very thin. As he walked through the forest a memory suddenly came to his mind. He recalled a time when he had lost his patience with Veneziano and had yelled at him to leave him alone and let him work. Italy had immediately burst into tears and ran out of the house. Germany sighed at the similarity of the memory and his current situation. He had felt extremely guilty after yelling at the poor Italian and had gone out into the woods to look for him. "Now where was Italy when I found him…?" He stopped and searched through his brain for the answer. He was in no mood to search the entire forest, this was his only lead. Suddenly he remembered clearly where Italy had been and he quickly hurried through the thick pine trees to his destination.

The air had grown noticeably colder than when Germany had first started his search. By now the sky was almost completely drained of the lights of the sunset and his flashlight was his only good light source. He jogged through the trees and retraced his steps to where he thought Romano might be. It was a long shot that Lovino would just happen to go to the same place that his brother had gone to, but this was the only slim lead he had. The trees started to thin out and soon he was standing at the edge of a small field. Tall grass swayed in the wind and above stars where beginning to shine in the darkening sky. Germany looked over the field and at first he didn't see anything, but then he spotted a figure standing in the middle of the field. He squinted his light blue eyes and saw the trademark curl and he sighed in relief. Romano jumped and let out a loud scream at the unexpected sound. "Who's there?!" He yelled trying, and failing, to sound manly and brave.

"Ja it's me, Germany." He answered awkwardly. He could just barely make out the Italian's expression, but he didn't need to see it to know that Romano was pissed that he was there.

"Lasciami in pace (Leave me alone)." He growled angrily. Germany pointed his flashlight in the way he came.

"Well Spain is here now and he sent me to come and find you." Germany said tiredly. Romano snorted and turned the other way.

"I don't need you to come find me. I can get back to your stupid house on my own." Germany raised an eyebrow and shrugged and turned to leave. "H-hey! Where the hell are you going?!"

"You said you could find your own way back so I'm leaving." Germany said, glancing over his shoulder at Romano. He was glaring at Germany but he was also looking around him at the tall ominous trees nervously.

"You can't just leave me out here! What kind of asshole does that?!" Lovino yelled frustrated. Germany smirked just slightly and turned around. "Turn off that damn flashlight! Are you trying to fucking blind me?!" Ludwig complied, already remembering why he disliked Romano in the first place. With the light switched off they were thrown into darkness, the faint glow from the moon and stars the only light around them. He'd found Romano and now they were just standing in the dark with the temperature dropping and the sky now completely dark. Germany peeked down at his watch, '8:43PM' blinked back at him. He sighed and looked at the Italian that all the trouble had been caused over. Lovino wasn't even looking at him anymore; he was staring up at the stars with a calm look on his face. Germany's mind drifted back to the argument they'd had that had caused all of this. Despite his unlike for the fowl-mouthed Italian, the guilt of what he had said had gotten worse since Romano had first run out of the house.

"Listen, I am sorry for what you at the house. It was much uncalled for." Germany said his voice completely even. Romano turned his gaze from the stars to Germany and gave a fierce glare. Germany ignored the glare and continued. "I shouldn't have said you couldn't cook as well as Italy." At this point Romano stepped towards Germany, his face red with anger.

"Here you are apologizing but then you don't even know what you're really sorry for! I don't know if your stupid thick head can even comprehend emotions but I don't care what you say about my cooking! It's 'oh I'm so sorry _Romano _and I shouldn't compare you to _Italy_. There is no Italy and Romano you stupid bastardo! Everyone calls my stupid fratello (brother) Italy this and Italy that, even he calls himself Italy! And then if people even remember me, it's Romano! Don't you get it you bastard?! I'm South Italy! Your precious, wonderful Italy is only North Italy! Not once have you ever even considered me Italy!" Romano stopped his breath uneven and slightly shaky, tears shone clearly in his eyes as he glared at Germany in the darkness. Germany was shocked into silence. He hadn't thought that Romano hated being called Romano so much. Everyone always referred to him with that name so Ludwig assumed that it was what he liked to be called. Germany wasn't sure what to do, he had dealt with Northern Italy upset almost every day but his brother was completely different. In the silence Lovino had somewhat pulled himself together and was stalking towards Germany.

"Sono stufo di questo paese stupid (I'm sick of this stupid country.) Take me back to your damn house." He muttered. Without a word the German switched on his flashlight and began retracing his steps back to his house. South Italy stayed close behind and didn't say a word the whole way back. Both were caught up in their own thoughts.

"LOVI~" The voice sang through the cold night air. As soon as they came in sight of the house Spain pushed past Germany and grabbed Romano in a tight hug. "Mi poco de tomate se ha perdido por tanto tiempo! (My little tomato was lost for so long!) Are you ok Roma?" Antonio asked concerned. Lovino completely ignored his question and head-butted The Spaniard in the stomach, making Germany cringe as the Spanish man stumbled back

"You stupid tomato eating bastard! You were late! I had to suffer in this stupid potato country for over an hour because of you!" Despite the harshness of his words, Romano was beyond relieved to see Antonio. But there was no way he was letting the bastard know that. Spain quickly regained his footing and was once again hugging the tired Italian.

"Lo siento (I'm sorry) Roma! I didn't mean to! France took us to a very fun bar and I lost track of the time! I promise I'll make it up to you with some fresh churros and tomatoes~" At the sight of the small smile that formed on Romano's face Spain grinned, knowing that he had been forgiven and turned to Germany. "Gracias Ludwig for finding Romano! Perhaps Italy can come himself next time and save us from all this trouble. Adios~ (goodbye)." Spain grabbed Romano's hand and began leading him back to the car. Germany watched as they walked to the car. He and Romano would never get along but maybe he could make it just a little more bearable.

"Goodbye South Italy! Maybe next time will be better!" He called out. He could just make out Romano and Spain in the night by Spain's car. Lovino had stopped walking and was looking back at him with a look of surprise on his face. Then a smirk settled on his face and he cupped his hand around his mouth.

"Like I'm ever coming back to this stupid potato country after all the trouble you fucking caused!" There was no anger in his tone and that was as close to an agreement as they were going to get. As the car sped down the road and out of sight Germany's phone buzzed in his pocket. He checked the caller ID. 'Italy' He made a mental note to change that later and answered.

"Ja?"

"Germany~ how was the meeting? Did you and Lovino get along ok?" Germany paused for a second and let a smile from on his face.

"It went…very well but your brother is not coming to my house again anytime soon."

The End

**I hope you liked it! It took me so long to try and make all the characters right and get their reactions just right! I thought about the ending for a really, really long time and then I decided that South Italy and Germany wouldn't get all lovey-dovey hug and make up! It was too OOC so I think this was pretty in character. Please review and tell me what you thought. **


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